"If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you. but ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind; for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord." - James 1: 5-8
Last Sunday Lindsay and I went down to interview for a staff position at a church in Virginia. I sat in the pew and began to pray silently, asking God to reveal to me whether or not this church was the one that He would have us be at.
I am the type of person who gets anxious easily; all throughout this interview process I believed in my heart that God was orchestrating this entire thing out and that this was where He wanted us. But my unbelief, coupled with my financial fears and wondering how everything was going to work out if I did not get this position, caused me to question what I believed God was telling me.
I kept coming back to the idea that even though I felt called to this place and even though I felt God was calling me, I still questioned whether or not it was Him. The long and short of it is that God challenged me to place my faith in Him - that I would get this position because He wanted me there and so I accepted God's challenge and believed with my heart that this would happen.
But what happened to the whole 'doubting' phrase of James' words in verse 8? Was I doubting God, or was I merely doubting whether or not it was God who was speaking to me.